#1 Hey Jumbo, you're pretty and we like the same things. Life really would be more dull if you weren't in it! But your arrogance is really unattractive -this obviously is not the case when your arrogance is so sexy, but that doesn't happen much anymore- I think you need to practice humility. I like you, but not like this. We shouldn't just because it's convenient.
#2 I can't believe u asked me out the other day LOL like WTF. We've been friends for so long and you're like a brother to me and all and I'm so sure you didn't even mean it but it makes me think that maybe you do and I don't know how to act around you now. Look at what you done, cunt. LOL jk. I'm sure all is normal and it was just a joke. Here's to a good road trip.
#3 You and that little slut are aggravating me so much. It's not your fault. I know if I was in your shoes, I would be acting exactly the way you are, but you know what I would do. I would be polite and kind and courteous. We've known each other longer than you two have and I can't believe you let that get in the way of things. I am thoroughly disappointed and I'm resisting the urge to smash your face through a mirror.
#4 And as for you, you're just a little prick.
#5 I love you so much. When you thanked me for being there despite everything that happened, I thought that was probably the most absurd thing I'd ever heard. Of course I was there and of course, I'll continue to be there. But when the tables were turned yesterday, I guess I really get where you're coming from now. You're my best friend in the entire world. I love you.