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stay gold forever

being here with you

we were meant to fly

you got me
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and i got you
this layout was hand coded by twelfthnight ( else ) with inspiration from Gold Forever by The Wanted. Gold from colourlovers

Wednesday, August 31, 2011 // 2:58 PM

Bitch, don't try and steal my dreams.

// 2:50 AM

I've been doing lots of maths past papers. Does that count a studying? I'm real nervous for English LOL also, I don't think I'm going to study for any other subjects besides the two, unless teachers give me past papers cause I kind of cannot care less LOL =/ I know I should though =/ I'm really hoping I can wing it and come first :D LOL still determined to come first in chem, music, drama and english LOL def. won't for english but I'll try my very best :) LOL


Sunday, August 28, 2011 // 3:05 AM

I'm planning to bring a lot of crap to camp. So I'm going to write another list.

- Kettle for making noodles and oats.
- Noodles to eat
- Oats to eat and exfoliate
- Black vans cuz I want em
- High waisted shorts cuz I want em too LOL
- I'm pretty much just using camp as an excuse to buy myself a new wardrobe (A)
- Big floppy straw hat, cuz I can't be in the sun without protection
- A bit of this and that
- Probably new tops
- Something to wear to the disco/talent show
- New guitar 8) LOL
- I also want the iPhone 5, whenever that's coming out LOL def. not gonna bring it to camp :L

anyway LOL that's probably it. Got my list of crap to pack ready. SO FUCKING PSYCHED FOR CAMP!!!!!!!!! ITS THE ONLY THING GETTING ME THROUGH THIS TOUGH EXAM PERIOD LOLOL :) i really hope i don't get my rags =/

Thinking about camp makes me so happy :) I cannot wait to wake up sleep deprived to the lovely faces of my friends :)

Thursday, August 25, 2011 // 3:57 AM

I like lists. I like lists for two reasons:

1. They're short, to the point and easy to read

2. I like the things I like, and I like lists

This is a list.

Title: What I did today.

Inspiration: Bina Tran

[Dot point 1] Came to the realisation that I want to go to church more.

[Dot point 2] Became a stingray

[Dot point 3] Ate a pie and fruit salad

[Dot point 4] Personified a pun

[Dot point 5] Achieved a goal

[Dot point 6] Decided to change my lifestyle

[Dot point 7] Figured out what I'm going to do for a special someones birthday

[Dot point 8] Laughed at the "slut" in my grade

[Dot point 9] Witnessed CPR on an Annie

[Dot point 10] Found out CPR stands for Cardiac Pulmonary Resuscitation

[Dot point 11] Saw my lover ;) LOL jokez :) no, but really ;)

// 3:08 AM

Hello darling,

It's been a while hasn't it? It feels as though it were yesterday that you were pouring your heart out to me and five minutes later, laughing at doing so. It's hard to believe two years have passed since we were that close. I miss being like that. Its not that we're enemies now, but there's been a lot of drifting these past two years. In and out. We never really made up our minds.

It took a lot of effort trying to acquaint with you. I guess I knew you were somewhat fascinating by just the mention of your name. From memory, it took quite a bit of my opening up for you to finally be comfortable around me. Was I intimidating? I don't know if it's my place to say; but, your walls were always built up high with the strongest bricks and that hasn't changed much. It was probably what drew me to you. I accepted your challenge and I couldn't be happier with the reward you offered.

You're great. We understood each other and got along so well. All those times we'd chat for hours after school? Well, those are the memories that stand out the most when I look back on that year. I'd love to do it again some time. But, a lot has changed since then and circumstances are no longer the same. Your parents are there; they scare me. I don't think I could really let go and be hysteric with them in the next room LOL

It's okay though. Cause this just means that we'll have tonnes to talk about the next time we catch up. And it will be soon, I can promise you that LOL

With year 12 inching closer with the passing of everyday, and the different paths we've chosen, I find it unfair to bother you with my problems or with a little quirk I want shared. But no matter the situation, whether it be the night before our prelims or the hour of an exam, I want you to know that you can call on me, and count on me to be there cause I always will be. Problems big or small I'll be there.

Please, don't forget that.

Love, Jessica.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011 // 12:28 AM

Starting next term, I Promise You'll be more organised. I'm not saying that you're not now ... I'm just saying your organisational skills could be better :)

- Love, Jessica.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011 // 4:36 AM

I'm surprised I haven't eaten yet LOL I was so sure I was going to give in. Although, I did have a pot of green tea after school =/ LOL BUT BUT its just green tea LOL nothing special LOL

I'm torturing myself by looking at photos of traditional english dishes :( I want to try toad in the hole and cheese waffles LOL I AM ALSO curious as to what baked beans tastes like =/ all the recipes online say it incorporates bacon LOL I don't think they have that in the canned versions we get at like woolies =/ LOL I still wanna try it though :D

Anywho, should get off soon LOL so I won't think too much about food and die.

Monday, August 22, 2011 // 2:59 PM

Had a dream, all my guy friends had Penny's and they were doing Ollies over each other. I did one too.

I was just a dream :(

// 5:24 AM

The other day, I was surfing one of the school's computers and I came across some recipes. Turns out, they were the things we made in year 7 food tech LOL

We needed a recipe for making "fruit kebabs" LOLOL I mean, how stupid did they think we were?! :L It was fun reading em though LOL my grammar was so bad back then. It's improved slightly :) Also, I sent those recipes to myself and I think I am going to make one [or more] of them on the weekends :)

// 2:16 AM

LOL FUCK ME. I STARTED THE 40 HOUR FAMINE, sunday at 9:30 pm, right? spoke twice during the following morning. Decided to start again because I would be "cheating" if I had continued. 11:30 am, begin. 2:15-ish said "what" to Ben. BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY FUCKING LIFE!!!!! this exposed me to much torment by him and my girls after wards.

Also, Hello Claudia :) Love you :( LOL (L)

Spoke a few words to Jacqueline at tutor. Gave up.

I am starting again on Friday. When this report shit is done. I have so many people telling me different things about the report. I guess it comes down to Nagele as she is marking it.

I'll start again with food LOL nws, easy peasy.

Can't not talk. Have to participate in heated discussions about pointless things.

I've learned a lot by not talking today though. I think I should bring my talking level down a tad LOL others have so much to say. And I love listening.

I also feel like Ox tongue.

Also, the first 2 times I spoke today was to say "thanks", and he third time at tutor I said "sorry" not cuz i did anything wrong, I was just being polite.


Sunday, August 21, 2011 // 12:36 AM


Friday, August 19, 2011 // 12:24 AM

Everything is coming to an end, faster than I'd like it to.

A few days ago I gave my SRC speech and only a few hours later, I had to perform in front of a crowd of strangers for the first time ever, twice! Gosh was that a fun day :) LOL all the nerves keeping my body on high alert. Jolts of adrenaline rushing through my body, the cold cold wind making me all the more nervous LOL

Okay, anyway, made it into the SRC, did pretty well for our Small Poppies play [except for the lighting and music in our first show] and yeah. I think I did alright for my Chemistry exam :)

What a great week LOL I only have one more assessment to finish and I'll be free! Until Prelims LOL :(

ANYWHO, SMALL POPPIES! OH MY GOSHETH IT WAS SOOOOO FUNNNN I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S OVER!!!!!!! WELL, NOT QUITE CUZ SULFARO WANTS US TO PERFORM AGAIN IN FRONT OF YEAR 7'S :) LOL ANYWAY, IT'S BEEN A LONG JOURNEY GETTING UP TO THIS POINT. MANY TANTRUMS WERE THROWN, LINES MUDDLED UP, PENGUIN HUGS AND AWKWARD DANCES GOT US ALL HERE. Learning our lines and making props and what not was so much fun!! Although our matinee show didn't run as smoothly as we'd liked, it was a great "warm up" for the evening performance, which we aced! I love my drama class LOL and i loved the entire 6 weeks that it took for us to get this ready. I hope we get to do something similar again, sometime :) Also, a few minutes before the curtains were pulled for each act, we'd all do these weird awkward dances where we'd just bob up and down shaking our arms cuz we couldn't jump around or anything cuz the landing of feet would've made too much noise. We just had to dance away all the nerves ;)

okay, i guess that's it LOL


also, Bobina for vice captain!!!! wooh!!!!

Sunday, August 14, 2011 // 2:59 PM

Got a heap of stuff lined up for me this week.

Excited, nervous.

More nervous LOL

I think I miss you

Friday, August 12, 2011 // 2:16 AM



Wednesday, 17th of August. CVHS Hall, entry: free of charge! Come and watch me speak the most horrible Vietnamese :) LOL Doors open 6:15 pm and the show will commence at 6:30 sharp. Approximate ending 8 pm :) LOL

Please come, It'd be so awkward if the hall was empty...


ANYWHO LOL It just hit me today, that my peak test -the one that will determine whether or not I stay- is on this coming Thursday and I've already made plans to dedicate the weekend to Nancy, carbon allotropes, English and Drama. FUCK ME LOL I also just realised that the hour before the exam, I have my dermatologist appointment. I've also decided to commit to Small Poppies until Wednesday, 8pm. So that pretty much means I have to either put off English, or study for peak now and late Wednesday night. Sigh f me to the fucking core LOl


Nancys party tomorrow!! It doesn't start 'til 3 but I need to get up early so I can buy ingredients to make the lasagna. I guess I can study while the lasagna is cooking and after her party LOL FML :(

Thank you Jim Jamz for giving us another week off, I really need it LOL


Jam-packed week ahead, all this adrenaline rushing through my body, I've got butterflies, I'm confident, I'm happy :)

ALSO LOL completed a goal, I guess you could call it a goal LOL :) xDxD

Gotta start getting ready for Prelims. I'm ready.

Come at me

He loves me :)


okay, revision time

Thursday, August 11, 2011 // 3:59 AM

past 24 hours have been :)

Wednesday, August 10, 2011 // 2:52 PM


So, we were kind of peer teaching? /looking after / buddying up LOL with the kindergartners from Canley Vale Public in the drama room. School was dismissed, Catrina and I walked up to the beginning of Johnston park, and started to become paranoid about the ghosts that lurk there. So we decided to wait for our friends to come, then we decided to just walk in front of the primary school that had just left a bit earlier than us.

As we walked onto the grass, a snake appeared. Cat was going to ride my bike away and I was going to back away slowly but then the snake crawled between the wheels and started to swallow the frame. I told her to get off, to fucking get off hurry the fuck up. She didn't, don't know why LOL then the snake started swallowing more of the bike.

So the snake swallowed Catrina, and it's body was laid flat, parallel and on top of the bike which was still up right LOL I didn't know what to do. People were already dismissed and looked as if they couldn't see it. I saw Mr Nguyen and asked him for help. He took out a little blade and cut around the snakes body, making sure he didnt hurt Catrina. I ran away.

Then some other stuff happened but it wasn't as interesting. Catrina made it out alive though :)

// 3:44 AM

I'm quite proud of myself. It was only about an hour or two ago that I told everyone that I "cbf doing any work" so I closed all my work windows and my books and just stared at the computer screen. About a minute later, I opened up my dot points word page and started doing it! I was on such a roll :) and when I finished I decided to treat myself to a nice long hot shower. I also made dinner for my family when I came down LOL now ain't I just a star child? :)

I think I am ;)

Seeing as I am about 1/4 of the way through my dot points, I'm going to make it a personal goal that I finish the entire thing for tomorrow. I need Nathans dot points in return =/ LOL so hopefully I can do it! :)

Anything is better than doing parametrics homework :)

Tuesday, August 9, 2011 // 4:51 AM

i miss huynh a lot

// 3:20 AM


I realised today that I spend a lot of money, on like food and school crap and tuition. I want to work :( but I'm a lazy hoe =/ LOL guess I gotta start cutting back on school and food and tuition ... HAH

Anywho, I've been listening to a lot of sad songs LOL I really hope I don't get my rags before 10 am on Friday =/ I really want to swim!!! LOL ALSO I and col and james went skateboarding on Saturday and I fell down. Boo :( LOLOL but it was heaps fun!!! [the day, not my falling down ==] LOL I think I'll skate everywhere now LOL

Also, I'm going to pick up my bike on Wednesday and I'm like 90$ short ... + i gotta pay for guitar lessons fml LOl so I'm not going to the lesson tomorrow, and I'll only pay for last weeks lesson LOL FUCK ME really need to save up =/

I love reading. I also love Tuesday afternoons :)

Sunday, August 7, 2011 // 2:56 PM

He just wanted to be one of the guys
He can't decide
He's here, but he's gone
What am I to do?

cua rang moui
Saturday, August 6, 2011 // 5:23 AM

I had to get my blood tested today. I'll admit, I was pretty freaked when I was waiting in the waiting room but it was over real quick! LOL the lady was extremely nice and it didn't hurt at all :) Okay, I lied... the sticky bit of the bandage kept pulling at my skin and it was like #$^Q$YER^W$Q@#$^#$%Y!@$^%&UWU$%& fml LOL

Had Yum Cha with Huynh and Collin today. It was well delicious, very glad I got my chicken feet.

Bummed though :( also, I feel nauseous =/

I killed two insects today that weren't ants =/ I'm a horrible person :(

I hope it does not rain tomorrow and I hope everyone will be hungry :D

Friday, August 5, 2011 // 6:39 AM

I wouldn't call the past week "stressful", it was more an unwanted catch-up week for my laziness. Good things came out of this week :) I got to hang with Claudia, I've really missed her! She's a lovely soul, we have the best conversations :) LOL she can always get me to laugh! I'm really looking forward to the early mornings where we can bike ride again!!

As some of you know, I'll be going on Roaccutane in a few weeks. This means I cannot go in the sun for long periods of time and I am absolutely prohibited from the beach :( x1million. I'll be going on this fucking shit ass tablet for 6-9 months and that pretty much means I WILL HAVE NO SUMMER!!! No beach, no swimming pools, no bike rides in the arvo, no basking in the sun [I'M ALREADY WHITE AS IT IS!! IVE LOST MY GLORIOUS GOLDEN ROAST CHICKEN TAN!!! :( x2million] So I guess all I've got to look forward to is studying in the dark vicinity of my humble abode, and laying on the tiles when it gets hot =/

SO, I guess that means, Claw, that we can only bike at 6 :( LOL I was telling huynh about the funniest thing today. I used to blog about our epic bike rides into the unknown circa 2009, where we'd just hop on our bikes and follow a path, and if it was too hot or if we were busy we'd just say "dw, we'll leave at 6, or 6:30[for the bike ride LOL]" which caused no drama, we were glad to LOL and now, if we ever do want to bike we say "oh, lets go at 3, I wanna be home before the sun sets" ... LOL the sun sets at 5 now :'( YOU CANNOT BEGIN TO IMAGINE HOW MUCH I DESPISE DAY LIGHT SAVING =============

I wanna try being vegetarian or vegan for a day, or maybe even a week LOL I reckon I can do it, as long as my mum makes me the food, my cooking is horrendous. Claw and I can be food buds ;) LOL

I've come to the realisation that everyone handles ... crap differently. I hide certain things from people and in turn, expect them to do the same, however it might not be how it works with them, and their revelation of truths to me would always be considered unnecessary pain and I guess, I would despise them for that. But now, I've grown wiser [LOL knot really] so I am going to tell you guys everything, be ready to be slapped in the face continually for the next few days LOL :)

Cat and I were shown a photo of us back in year 9, thanks to the lovely Kenna. WE LOOK SO YOUNG!!!!! It's completely weird! LOl [just say that with an english accent in mind] WE LOOK SO SMALL AND OMFG MY HAIR LOL WHAT WAS I THINKING?! 2 years doesn't seem long at all, but the change is tremendous; 2 years is really a long time, hey? LOL Just got me wondering what I'm gonna think of myself 2 years from now, looking back at this very blog post. Perhaps I should up load a photo =/ "dear 18 yo Jess, this is what you looked like 2 years ago" LOL What will I look like in 2 years time? LOL hm, well obviously BEAUTIFUL! LOL

This is such a random post LOL. OMG he is so cute xD srzly LOL does the cutest things :) LOL WHY CAN'T YOU LEARN MY NAME?!?! :'(

ANYWHO LOL I swam twice today, first in SLR and again after school. SLR was well fun, I did a dive too! LOL not a proper one though, but I was and still am very proud of myself :) I felt like Liesel Jones but 27 times slower!! LOL After school, The swim was really relaxing LOL I think my swimming ability is improving, also, we went into the sauna, Huynh, Jenny, Linda and I and it felt weird LOl it was half suffocating, half relaxing, but mind you, when we left and hopped into the pool, it was glorious LOL fruit in welsh is ffryuqit i think LOL

WHAT AM I SAYING?! OMGOSH ITS 12:08 LOL okay, should leave now. Got a blood test tmr morning, woooh........ LOL


// 5:59 AM

Operation retrieve mouse is a go!

Crispy Bacon
Tuesday, August 2, 2011 // 3:02 AM

It's becoming insanely warm. I like it! :)

Anywho, the last few days I've felt like... well I've felt very unstable. LOL i was so close to using an atom analogy :L but I don't was to bore anyone. Things are changing at a rapid pace -once again- and it feels as though no one is there to keep me grounded - like I'm constantly being swept off my feet and don't know how to doggy paddle. LOL? wtf.

Speaking of doggy paddle, swimming for SLR last week was heaps fun!! I loved every bit of it :D hehe LOL and I'm glad it's getting warmer. I cannot wait for the day the weather reads 27 degrees and I get to swim first thing in the morning!

It sucks never having the time to read. Sometimes I do have the option, but I don't choose to read, I don't know what I do instead. Fml, teachers should give more homework so I don't have so much free time where I can start to try to understand all the feelings inside me. It's better if I don't know.

Also, thank you. You really helped today when you listened. I'm sorry we don't hang out as much as we used to. And I hope you're feeling better too. I love you,

Love, Jess.

fuck the world
Monday, August 1, 2011 // 4:18 AM

I have nothing

// 1:54 AM

It's coming. I can smell it. Summer...