I'm not quite at that stage where I think I need to reassess my priorities.
Have been for a while now.
I can feel every inch of my body changing and I'm not too sure if I like it or not.
If we relate this to study, I guess I'm okay with how I'm doing. It's not bad. If fact is pretty good compared to a lot of people, but I still want more. And despite this, I am so ceebs to chuck in the full amount of effort because if I can scrape 'good' each time, it'll still work.
But I want to be great. I fear that it is not my laziness which is making me feel this way, it's just the blunt fact that I'm not good enough to be great. That despite my efforts, I am just 'pretty good'.
I don't know, I think this and I think about all the things I could've done differently. So, who knows, maybe the potential is there.
That's why I'm currently in limbo.
As for life, I guess the things I held dear are slipping away from me. But I haven't completely lost my morality. lol. It's just changing.
Sometimes I wish that I had a constant in my life. Someone to tell me I'm too different or that what I'm doing is good. I tried doing this by myself and its tough. Growing up.
Anyway, sorry for yet another vague brain dump LOL I was reading Danny's blog and it just brought this back.
Speaking of, I'd like to wish the cunt a happy 21st birthday!
You've reached a milestone. I am proud.
I would post a pic but I haven't taken one with you since high school LOL
I love you
You know what I love?
Deciphering indirect messages.
Especially the not-so-obvious ones!
I like to marvel in the fact that I know certain 'secrets' about people or their personal drama LOL Not cos I gossip, cos they tell me. Although, I do tend to gossip.
Anyway. I like to know that people trust me. Makes me feel like a better person you know?
This doesn't sound particularly assuring for people who tell me their secrets, but I MARVEL TO MYSELF. IT'S SOLELY A PERSONAL BENEFIT. DON'T STOP TELLING ME SHIT PLS :'(
Don't you guys like that? Knowing that you are the go-to person for someone when they're down or angry LOL or one of the go-to people.
I like knowing that people are comfortable enough around me to tell me personal shit LOL
This is getting repetitive.
I like being liked.
But then again, who doesn't?
ITS SPRING BOYZ N GURLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
I AM SO HAPPY AND EXITED OMG I HATE WINTER SO MUCH LIKE BRING ON THE 40 DEGREE HEAT AND COUPLED HUMIDITY!
MY BODY IS READY ;)
I cannot wait to do all these summer-y things! I am so excited, in fact, that I will come up with a summer of 2013/14 bucket list LOL I kind of hope they don't call me back at Dymocks anymore. I want my free time. I'm so glad Focus gives us the school holidays off like omg :)
Anyway, before I get to that, I'd just like to mention that Huynh and I have been doing practice tests/revision q's for our upcoming bio exam and we were on a roll! maintaining a HD avg score n what not but like, I just attempted the sexual attraction test and I got 6% ... LOL 2 questions right out of a possible 30! Go me :) LOL
I thought that was v funny cos that was the lecture I really paid a lot of attention in cos they had a grey's anatomy reference in it :) LOL
Oh well. Still got a few days to get it right :) LOL
Anyway, summer bucket list
- Cruise to New Caledonia and Pacific Islands
- Beach run (So I pitched this to a few people in my group. I'd like to wake up at 4:30 am and leave for the northern or southern-most beach in Sydney and drive up/down the coast line, building sand castles, eating and riding the waves until I've had enough LOL I cannot wait!!!)
- Beach swimming at night. We always go to Brighton and whatnot after hours but we don't swim cos it's been wintery cold. No more! swim swim swim :)
- Skinny dip at a beach ;)
- Bike riding/skate boarding at dusk
- Driving up to Hornsby or out past Camden to look at the stars. Collin insists we go back to our year 11 camp site to look at nebulas and that
- HIKING BREOWRA - COWAN, WENTWORTH FALLS, ALL OF THEMMMM
- Snorkeling at Shelley and bring Em this time :)
- Kiss 20 strangers
- Big Day Out. Not going Vietnam at the time so I can finally go LOL
- Taylor Swift's red tour!!!!!! :)))))))
- I want to eat snails
- Pipi and oyster collecting
- I would like to drive to Byron just for a night LOL
- Eat fresh healthy salad and fruits
- Christmas party!!!!
- LOL this is starting to look less and less like a bucket list
- Visit the Jenolan Caves
- Glow worm tunnel in Lithgow!!!
- Bar hopping in Newtown
- Volunteer for the red cross
- Go back to windang and snap some pics near the sand dunes which reminded me so much of skins
- Carry a koala at taronga
- Be in two places at once
- Go to a burlesque show
- Go to a circus
- Watch the sun set over the Slopes
- Bike ride adventure to somewhere far like Tempe or the Blue Mountains
- Learn to play golf
- Shoot a real gun
- Learn to speak the basics of German
- I forgot what it was called, but year year 11 SLR we did a mock test on CPR and that. Anyway, I wanna get certified in first aid and be able to perform CPR n that. I wanna get that thing that lets me do that LOL
- Learn to surf
- Become a vegetarian for a week
- Make my own bread
- Make my own Christmas cards
- Perform by the beach with a few friends
- Visit the outback!
There is definitely more that I want to do but I've come to a blank LOL expect additions to this!!
What are your plans for the Summer?