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stay gold forever

being here with you

we were meant to fly

you got me
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and i got you
this layout was hand coded by twelfthnight ( else ) with inspiration from Gold Forever by The Wanted. Gold from colourlovers

Sunday, September 30, 2012 // 4:22 PM

I'm kind of bummed the library isn;t open today ... I spent the weekend locked up inside and it drove me insane and today is just another weekend day. ugh.

I need to buy juice

Monday, September 24, 2012 // 3:36 PM

Happy Birthday Cunt <33333333333333 br="br">

Sunday, September 23, 2012 // 3:54 PM

It wasn't until recently that I've realised how much I've always wanted to undertake medicine. It wasn't until I realised you were the reason, you have always been the reason.

When they asked me for my personal motivation, I couldn't think of anything else to put down but the long journey we've spent together and how much that has unconsciously driven me to do this.

It's all for you.

I haven't cried this much in years. What you wrote on my jersey. Right next to my heart,

I'll do it. I'll go to the ends of this earth to find it.

You're the voice I hear inside my head.

I love you

Don't leave me before I do.

I love you
Saturday, September 22, 2012 // 5:12 PM

Wednesday, September 19, 2012 // 2:12 AM

Feeling a bit sentimental ...

I don't know if what I'm feeling is sentiment.

It's been a long journey and I don't exactly know how to feel about the fact that it's all going to be over soon

I guess a big part of me knows that I'll be keeping in touch with everyone so this isn't really the end

But there are other things like classes and such that have ended

And I felt nothing

Maybe it just hasn't hit me yet

What have you turned me into?

Hello Emily :)
Tuesday, September 18, 2012 // 3:10 PM

1: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? Probably not LOL
2: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused? Single
3: What if I told you that you were pretty? You too, LOL
4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? Nope
5: Are you interested in anyone right now? LOL yeah
6: What are you looking forward to in the next week? I'm actually quite excited for graduation, getting our reports, receiving my many awards :) performing LOL PICNIC DAY :) I'm gonna swim rain or shine in that little secluded place we found in year 10 :) The teacher vs. basketball game is today and I guess I'm pretty excite :) and I absolutely cannot wait to dance with everyone at the formal (L)
7: Do you want to be single?... maybe LOL no :(
8: Did you go out or stay in last night? I went outside
9: How late did you stay up last night? I went to bed at 9:30 LOL but I read until 12
10: Can you recall the last time you realized you liked someone a lot? Yep
11: Last three things you had to drink? Milk tea, water, coke
12: Have you pretended to like someone? No.
13: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? No, but I always say it in passing and I should really stop throwing it around like that. I guess at the time I say it, I do mean it
14: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months?Yes
15: Is it hard for you to get over someone? LOL I sound like a heartless slut ... so far, no.
16: Think back five months ago, were you single? Yes
17: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? In chemistry ... probably playing some trivia games or just talking about the formal with the class :)
18: Hold hands with anyone this week? Yes?
19: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? Yes, most definitely LOL I hate the taste of alcohol. I can be wild on my own 8)
20: What would you name your future daughter? I've always liked the name Lana, but then I realised it was anal backwards so I think I'm going to scratch that LOL I've always had a plan: My future husband will name the girls and I would name the boys LOL Hello Julian and Joseph :)
21: Do you miss anyone? Nah, not right now
22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night? No. 
23: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? No. wait, ... IN a bed? what... LOL
24: Are you good at hiding your feelings? Most definitely
25: Have you ever cried from being so mad? No
26: Who did you last see in person? Momma
27: Are you listening to music right now? Ye, example LOL forgot how good they are
28: What is something you currently want right now? I want to actually sit my chemistry exam RIGHT NOW and skip over the rest. I want to kiss somebody. I want to climb rocks at Bondi. I want to wax my bushy brows LOL. I want to go on a road trip, and I want petrol to be free.
29: What is the last thing you said out loud? Mum: What are you doing? Homework? Me: No! (and I actually yelled as if I was proud LOL)
30: How is your heart lately? constricted by a thick layer of fat. empty. pumping blood. wishfully thinking. LOL
31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? Only if its sunny/raining
32: Are you wearing socks? Yep
33: What do people call you? Jess, Jessie,
34: Will you talk to the person you like tonight? Vice versa and texting. Maybe ;)
35: Are there any stressful situations in your life? I reckon I have it pretty easy
36: Who did you last share a bed with? Mother dearest
37: Did you do something bad today? Not yet, but I probably will :)
38: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? Yesterday. Huynh. Train station, before we separated. It was like a movie :')
39: Do you get stressed out easily? Of course
40: Will you sing today? Of course
41: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? Of course
42: Who do you go to when you need to talk to someone? Depends what I want to talk about LOL but probably Collin or Bobs
43: Have you ever been taken to the emergency room in an ambulance? Yes, when I was like 4 or so
44: What are you listening to right now? Changed the way you kiss me - Example 
45: What is wrong with you right now?Everything. THIS IS A MEAN QUESTION LOL I'm sorry I can't meet your every expectation, Question :'(
46: What is on your wrists right now? Hair.... LOL nothing
47: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing? Lowes and Gomo
48: What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? I don't know....
49: Do you make wishes at 11:11? For a short while I did LOL
50: Are you a good artist? LOL no?
51: Love really is a beautiful thing huh? So I've been told
52: Do you miss the way things were six months ago? I cannot recall. I don't tend to let myself compare life right now to what I was in the past. I used to do it a lot and I always got really sad. So, no.
53: Ever been on a golf cart? I wanna ride a golf cart around Cabramatta
54: Do you have trust issues? Of course
55: Ever stayed up all night on the phone, with who? No :( I've been on late LOL never all night
56: Do you own something from Hot Topic? Yes
57: Do you use chap stick? Yes
58: Have you ever slapped someone in the face? LOL yes, very lightly though. But a slap none the less
59: Do you have a little sister? I am a little sister
60: Have you ever been to New York? Nope
61: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? Actually, yes LOL
62: Have you hugged someone within the last week? Yes.
63: What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping and dreaming.
64: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? No
65: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Yes.
66: Were your last three kisses from the same person? Maybe not LOL
67: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? No.
68: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? I'd sleep in the same bed with another person LOL I'm a big cuddler. I don't like sitting next to people though. I'd sit alone
69: Will next Friday be a good one? LOL yeah!! I can't wait for formal and the very many surprises that await ya'll :) I can't wait for meriton afterwards and I cannot wait for graduation and walking out to our very indecisive final song :L

I am so...
Monday, September 17, 2012 // 4:09 AM


I don't know why, though. It's not like I've spent the last 4 days studying hard core. If anything, I've been a slack little hoe.

hello future
Sunday, September 16, 2012 // 4:50 AM

I've been filling out med applications all evening and I'm beginning to freak out LOL Also, it's such a pain to write what they wanna read as well as trying to remain a unique individual LOL fml I'm so ordinary :(

pour me some moon shine
Friday, September 7, 2012 // 4:37 AM

I really want a photo with everyone before I leave high school

good morning :)
Wednesday, September 5, 2012 // 2:56 PM

So, swimming yesterday LOL Even though we barely did any real, proper exercise I got home feeling exhausted.

Huynh, Cathy, Cat, Bobs and I trekked for fairfield pools cos it was a nice day and all, sunny, slight breeze. I really wanted to dive continuously outside LOL Anywhore, we got there and the outside pool was closed off :( so we swam inside. My hair gets in the way of swimming now. When I was doing a lap, my hair tie fell off and so I swam back to my babes looking like the grudge underwater. Whenever I lifted my hands up to stroke, omg my hair would get caught underneath my arm and kind of pull my back, especially when I'm trying to  lift my arm up to do another stroke LOL (wow, what a Holden sentence) so we decided to play marco polo instead and that was heaps fun :) water aerobics was also fun LOL

We left. Huynh and I went back to the library an did some chem stuff. At 7, Cathy came to pick us up and drove us to Tommys. We came armed with pots and jugs because today, we could bring in any kind of container and get slurpee for $.290. You could bring a tuba but you couldn't bring a waste bin LOL

After Tommys, we went to 7 eleven. The machines weren't working. We drove to the 7 eleven at Mt. Pritchard, wasn't working either. Bonnyrigg. Nope. Endensor Park. HAH they didn't even bother putting signs up to say it wasn't working. So we drove back to Maccas and decided to get a grape frozen fanta. Yep, that wasn't working either LOL so I settled for a mc flurry :)

Went home, had the most exhausting conversation of my life LOL with a mate. Headed off to bed, expecting to finish Animal Farm. But I went to sleep LOL

Sunday, September 2, 2012 // 7:04 PM

god I hate waiting LOL

there will be time
// 4:32 PM

to prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet

there will be time for a hundred revisions and indecisions

before the taking of toast and tea

Well I've calmed down a heap LOL

Still not pushing myself yet cuz I'm saving all my energy for 2:25, the time of my exam LOL

So it's 9 am now and I have nothing to do ...

I think I should just do Hummus' homework LOL

Or I could watch Doctor Who again? :O

I'm excited :D

I wonder what I'll be spending my days doing after tomorrow ... I mean, I've been playing the guitar for the entire year and after tomorrow, it won't matter if I do or not anymore. I know I will still play, but playing will  have no purpose, unless you count leisure... BUT NO I cannot indulge myself yet. After HSC. Everything has to be put on hold for now LOL. THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FUN!!!! LOL okay, going a bit overboard?

Considering I watched Doctor Who last night, I am a big hypocrite LOL but who can deny doctor who?

OMG the last lines :):)

Anywhore, I used to feel as though I had so much to complete in such a small amount of time. I remember just 7 weeks ago, in the holidays, I was stressing about drama, music and UMAT. Then UMAT left me, and drama is over and soon music will be out of my brain for a while. I know there are written exams but LOL who needs that? I joke of course :L

Now, my routine feels very ... empty

I've stuck to such a strict timetable for so long, letting go of these things is messing with my brain, like nothing fits anymore. NOTHING MAKES SENSE LOL

Wow, I really am a robot LOL

I guess the only thing I can do now is up the number of past papers I do a day because I know I cannot fill these voids with TV shows and such LOL that will come afterward.

I guess this is what post HSC will feel like. Not having a purpose, feeling empty LOL

BUT I won't be empty :)

Because I will have these kids <333333 br="br">