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stay gold forever

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we were meant to fly

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this layout was hand coded by twelfthnight ( else ) with inspiration from Gold Forever by The Wanted. Gold from colourlovers

Saturday, July 25, 2015 // 4:10 AM

So I mentioned in the last post that as part of the Connect program for Aspire, the kids, their teachers and the ambassadors got to do a personality-typing test called the Myer Briggs Type Indicator. It basically categorises you into groups depending on your preferred way of thinking and such. There are 4 categories or dichotomies each with 2 'opposing' options. So essentially, everyone can be placed into 1 of 16 types of personality. I had mine predicted by one of the Aspire staff the week before. She guessed that I was an ESFJ and when I looked it up, I kept thinking "Omg, this is me". During the seminar on Thursday, however, we predicted what we were ourselves and I came up with ENFJ. And when I read up on it, I was like "Omg, this is me". And after that, we did the actual test or "instrument" and I came up as an ENFP, and when I read up on it ... can u guess what I thought? Lol.

I feel like personality testing is a lot like astrology, but maybe a little more justified. Just because you answer 93 odd questions, doesn't mean that they've got you all figured out. Humans are so complex. I feel as though I'm an equal member in all 3 of those categories.

Anyway, many of you may not have heard of the MBTI before and are probs wondering "what is this 4 letter code jibberish". There is essentially a letter for each dichotomy and that's supposed to encompass all that a person can be. The first dichotomy determines where we individually get our energy from, so are we Extroverting or Introverting. The second assesses how we gather information, by sensing or intuition. The third asks how we make decisions, by thinking or feeling? and the last assesses how we deal with the outside world, either by judging or perceiving. Some of the names for these are really poorly chosen because they don't really mean what the test wants it to mean, but we were given examples and scenarios for each to help us understand.

Extroversion (E) vs. Introversion (I)

This one is pretty straight forward, once you know what the two words actually mean. Someone can be the life of the party and super loud and have the ability to speak well in public and all that, but it doesn't necessarily mean they they are extroverted. Extroversion refers to someone who gets their energy from being around other people. They tend to be louder and more confident, but this isn't the defining factor. Introverts are people who get most of their energy when they are alone. But this doesn't mean that they're socially awkward or quiet. It just means they need to take a break from being in a big group and then afterwards, they can carry on as they were. Introverts can be really good public speakers and they can be really loud. These things may seem like they aren't associated with introverts, but they're not what defines them. They're just skills anyone can gain in life.

The example we were given was of a teenage boy who is an introvert. After a long day at school where he was surrounded by friends and teachers and such, he gets home and his neighbour asks if he wants to go to the park and play. He likes his neighbour, but he tells him that he will meet him there, because all he wants to do is sit in his room for 30 odd minutes and just relax. Then after he goes and plays. Like, the kid just wanted to rest and regain some energies. This made sense. I guessed myself to be extroverted and in the test, out of a total of 21 points, I was 21 extroverted and 0 introverted LOL. I just love people. I need people :'(.

Sensing (S) vs. Intuition (N)

How do you gather information? So apparently, sensing people like to look at facts and figures. They see things as they are in reality, they pay attention to detail and like clear order. Whereas those who use intuition more see the bigger picture. They map the entire thing and from there, break it down into smaller bits.

We were told to describe a mobile phone to an alien. The people who are sensing went straight into the detail, listing things like it's rectangular, got buttons, have many functions like calling, texting, games, calculating etc., it's got a screen and is made out of metal and all that. I described it generally at first, saying that it is a device used to communicate. Simple, right. Then I slightly went into detail, like you can contact people around the world by calling, texting, facetime etc. Apparently I use intuition because I looked at it in a broad sense first.

But I feel as though this dichotomy isn't as clear cut and defined, because surely, we all use both ways of information collection depending on the situation. I know they say that people always have a default method they always use, but I felt as though I learnt and developed my intuition after many years of writing essays and trying to come up with good topic sentences. It has become my default way of looking at things, but was it always how I did it? Maybe it was, but lets say that is wasn't and I was actually sensing when I was growing up. And now lets say that for the rest of my life, I'll still always look at the bigger picture before looking at the detail. Am I an S or an N? ???????

Anyway, so apparently I am an N according to the test LOL moving on.

Thinking (T) vs. Feeling (F)

How do you make decisions? Do you look at things logically, with objectivity and fairness (T) or are the decisions you make centered on people and your own values? Do you trust your gut (F)? 

In this scenario, I was the leader in a team and we are about to partake in a game or activity, but there is 1 too many people in the team for the activity. How was I going to choose who sits out of the activity? Many people said, look at the team and decide who the weakest link is or who has the least to contribute and ask them to step out. They said this because they wanted to ensure maximum efficiency in their group, and that's fine. They're the Thinking type because they thought about it logically, they wanted the best outcome in terms of performance. I decided that I would do something fair like 'black and white' or 'rock, paper scissors' so it's more fair in that sense and so it wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings. I'm a Feeling decision maker. This dichotomy I felt is more justified that the previous. I do take into consideration other people's feelings when I make a decision and I always think about how my actions will affect others. Idk if you guys know this, but I really like harmony, even if I act like a forward and direct bitch sometimes. I like it when everyone is happy, and I think if we ever got close enough, you'd know that sometimes I'd just make up bullshit and tell people what they want to hear to make them less angry lol.

The ambassadors and I had a discussion later about this category. They posed another scenario like there are 5 people stranded on a boat and there are only enough supplies to last 4 people. What are you going to do? I said I'd ration the supplies between all 5 even if that means we all die together, at least I won't have the guilt of actively killing one person. But many of them said either "I'd sacrifice myself" or "I'd push the weakest person off the boat". They're the thinkers, obviously, looking at it so callously and logically lol.

Judging (J) vs. Perceiving (P)

These options are named so poorly and this is probably the stupidest of the four. How do you deal with the outside world? Essentially if you're a J you are organised, systematic, methodical and have things decided. You like lists. A person who is a P is very spontaneous and lives off the thrill they get when they leave assignments and such to the last minute and hand them in just in time.

They're weird things to assess, because we're all taught to make lists and be organised and never to leave assignments to the last minute, but I guess the thrill comment is the factor which separates the two. I personally believe that I am quite organised, I plan things in advance and I decide things early, but it doesn't mean I go crazy or break down when my plans don't follow through (unlike lol). There are so many days where I have nothing concrete planned, I just call it my "play" day and when my plans change, I am able to go with the flow. What does that make me?

I guess it depends on the situation, and I've hung out the the same group of friends for years now who are definite P's that I can do either without it phasing me. I guess my default is J, but i'm finding that I've become less and less organised as uni progresses. Maybe I was always a P. Anyway, the test told me I am a P, so let's go with that lol.

So I'm an ENFP.

"Warmly enthusiastic and imaginative. Sees life as full of possibilities. Make connections between events and information very quickly and confidently proceed based on the patterns they see. Want a lot of affirmation from others, and readily give appreciation and support. Spontaneous and flexible, often rely on their ability to improvise and their verbal fluency."

"Omg, this is me" LOL

That last line reminds me of my time tutoring at Jimmy's so much LOL. There were so many weeks where I had absolutely nothing prepared for the class and just made it up on the spot (which is pretty fucking tough when you are teaching a class of 10-15 distracted 12 year olds) I didn't really get a "thrill" from it, I was just super lazy. Cost-benefit principle. Preparing work was not worth it lol.

Anyway, let me know what you guys are and let me know if you think it's accurate when you read up on your personality type :)

Thursday, July 23, 2015 // 8:55 PM

I didn't really plan any big holiday for this winter break. There were some nights where I was so upset looking at other people's photos of their trips to Asia and Europe that I actually considered buying a ticket to Uluru or somewhere for myself. The main reason I didn't ever follow through is probs the fact that I am povo as fk. Work at Stu's slowed cos it's the off season, but it should pick up again soon (fingers crossed) and I'm still only doing the 1 shift a week at Dymocks. 

Now we're at the end of the 4 weeks and Uni starts on Monday. I'm looking back at all the things I did and didn't do over this break and despite there being several full days of my just marathoning Weeds and Califorication, there were some really good exploring days and some good catch up days. The biggest highlight for me was this Volunteer program I signed up for earlier in the year called Aspire. We target low SES and rural schools and aim to rid any of the negative stigma surrounding university and let the students know that there are so many opportunities for them in the future despite where they go to school/grow up. 

The event over this break was called Connect and it brought over 100 students from schools as close as the one in Mascot to all the way out in Lightning Ridge (boarder of QLD and NSW) to our university. We, the Aspire Ambassadors, along with a very hard working team of Aspire staff spent 3 days with these kids, showing them around the university, various industries and told them of all the different pathways that exist for them to enter university. 

Ambassadors were assigned to a faculty and they looked after 15 odd school kids over the 3 days. I was in the Medicine faculty along with Sean and a few other people I met through Aspire. Our group mainly consisted of girls who all wanted to be nurses/vets/physios and a few guys who either really wanted to get into med or who were put into the wrong faculty for the 3 days, haha. 

We played ice breaker games and got to know each other. The level of hostility in our room was so high on the first day, because no one really knew each other (kids were split from their schools), some kids just weren't interested in medicine and most of the rural kids didn't like the city. 

Ice breakers eased the tension a tiny bit, but not as much as I had hoped. We went to a faculty-specific work shop which kind of wasn't faculty-specific for us, because it was more geared towards science and research than medicine, but the kids kind of still like it, I guess. They got to isolate DNA from bananas and learned a bit about genes and GMO. 

The next day we went to the SCG and saw the Swans training, which was alright. Not a big AFL fan, but it was cool to see it happening in the flesh. There was soo much walking. All my kids complained. We all bonded over this, lol I felt a tiny bit closer to them :). 

After our pathetic lunch which consisted of 2 tiny slices of white bread, a thin slice of roast beef and a cucumber slice, we headed to the Prince of Wales hospital. The kids seemed to like this a lot more because it was medicine based. We split into 2 groups and my group went to Medical imaging where we looked at X-rays and MRI's and such. We were shown around by a radiographer and a nurse. The nurse was super nice and taught them CPR. The other group went to the orthodics department (casts and such). Their session ended a bit early and so they headed up to the waiting room to wait for us. There was this one student who just was disinterested in everything since the get go. She always had a neutral face and when asked about what she thought of things, she was just indifferent to everything. But while in the waiting room, she saw about 5 odd members of the Roosters come in and apparently she got all giddy and excited and asked them if she could take a photo with them. I think it was her team because she could name ever single player that was there! Anyway, it was all smiles from her after that, even going on to the next day! :)

One of the kids in my group who apparently wanted to be in Law and not medicine told me that he was scared of the hospital and didn't really want to go inside. He said it was a place where bad things happen and people die. Even after my consoling him and trying to show him that it is a place of healing and even new life, he still had the heebe jeebs. But after our little sesh in medical imaging, I asked if he was still scared, and with a brave face he said "Nah, it's a place where u get fixed up" which really made my day. 

The last day the students were overloaded with information about studying tips and scholarships and the university application process. Keep in mind that these kids are in year 10 and most of them haven't even decided what they're going to be doing in year 11 and 12, let alone what they'd be doing in university and how to do it. I mean, I can understand that it was all in their best interest, but I doubt any of them took anything away from that or will remember what they were told. Here's to hoping they all keep the flyers and book marks that were handed out lol. 

Anyway, in the afternoon, we all did the Myer-Briggs personality test and I felt like the Ambassadors were more excited for this than the kids. They ask quite obscure questions like "which word appeals more to you" and stuff to try and categorise you into a personality group. One of the kids in my group just was not into it at all. He didn't see the point and didn't want to tally up the point at the end. I made him push on though, and when we figured what he was, I got him to read the little box of info on that type and he just looked up and me and smiled for the first time over all the 3 days and said "This is me." 

It was little moments like that that made the 6 am wake ups and 8 am starts worth it. 

When all the formal activities were out of the way, I got so many of the quiet and disinterested kids coming up to me with big smiles on their faces, thanking myself and the other ambassadors for the last 3 days. 

There were some kids who were friendly and talkative from day 1 and there were others who made me feel like my presence and effort were useless on the first day. I always knew the 3 days were going to be rewarding in some sense, but I had no idea that I'd become so fond of each and every one of them, nor did I think that they'd each leave with 14 new friends to add on Facebook. Even by the end of the day, before the metro kids left, I was a bit skeptical thinking "well yeah.. we may have told them some information, but did we really help them? did this achieve the goal that Tom and the other higher-ups set?" And it wasn't until we all got the personal thanks from the students that we knew that yeah, it kind of did. Even if it didn't give them one clear answer as to what they'll be doing in the future, they know more about themselves, what they like and what they definitely don't like. Which direction they'd like to go and most importantly, that they are all good enough to achieve any dream that they have. 

We had a little BBQ for the regional kids before they headed back to their hotels, all of the med kids came and shook my hand or gave me a hug and I swear I could've cried. I may not know the tiny little details about their lives that many would associate with really knowing a person, but I've come to know how they are as people and how driven and motivated they are now after the 3 days. It was only a short time together, but I will miss them. It such a shame that we couldn't trade emails so they could update us on how they're going at school or so they could ask us any questions they had. I kept saying "come to UNSW after school" but they all asked if I'd still be here and I realised that I probably won't. So yesterday was probably the last day I'd ever see most of them. 

Although I had to give up going to Splendour in the Grass to do this, every second of it was worth it. 

I didn't take any photos over the last 3 days because every other person was doing it, but here is one of me while we were supposed to be setting up the BBQ. I am smiling because I am happy. But also because we're all champions for finishing the 3 days! (But mainly because of the little adrenaline rush we got from opening the trophy cabinet and taking out the trophies without permission, lol.)

More on what I did over the rest of the weeks soon!

How was your break?

Tuesday, July 14, 2015 // 2:26 AM

 Where is Clarence?
 I love this. Strong jaw line photo. Appaz I look like I'm being married to Tin by Clarence and Drew is our audience LOL
 Walked to resolute

 Where's Clarence

What a pathetic blog post LOL

Just needed to get the photos out of the way

A better one will come soon, I swear

fodmn and the winds
Sunday, July 12, 2015 // 6:50 AM

Migratory birds' memories are significantly better than birds which stay put. Same with humans who move a lot. Not in a 'pack up your life and go' sense, but rather an explore/ travel sense. They not only remember more about the routes and such, but their declarative and procedural memory is a lot better than those who do not travel often. According to my lecturer, there is a paper on it somewhere .... lol

So Danny, Bobs, Ems and I went exploring today in the East. It's like a whole new world. They have gyms for their pets and everyone is super fit and friendly, kinda weird lol. Anyway, we went to Milk Beach which was pretty nice. Lots of photos and snaps of the Harbour Bridge and what not. We walked to and from the various small strips of beaches the harder but more adventurous way along the wet rocks, despite there being a very nicely paved path which occasionally sported nice, rectangular sandstone steps. We live life on the edge lol.

It got so windy so we went back to the car. As we walked along the street and jealously admired the big beautiful houses, a broken window caught my eye. We saw 2 garage type doors which were really old and forgotten about and inspected the exterior only to conclude that it was probably an abandoned property. So we tried entering it. As you do. One of the garage doors gave way and we entered an empty room which looked like someone had given up on it mid construction. The walls were there and there was a toilet in the corner, but hanging wires tickled the floors and there were holes in the walls that led no where in particular. We got some nice shots there. People kept saying that it'd be a nice place to shoot a film.

It wasn't too impressive, we left after about 20 mins. But as we kept walking we realised it wasn't just the 2 garage rooms that were abandoned, it was kind of the entire house. There was a nice stairway that led to the second floor that we could see from the road. None of us had the upper body strength to climb over a wall and walk up it, so we looked around and saw an actual opening into the building. Someone had removed a door, but planted a bunch of trees in front of it lol. We managed to get in, but that didn't lead anywhere.

After much contemplation, we decided to give each other boosts into the section with the stairs. We all made it over and walked up the stairs. It led to a room which had a bathroom that had a dripping tap and fresh toilet paper. We def thought something was up by this point. There was another stair case leading upstairs, into the outside world, something like a rooftop garden. We went up there and saw a pool and a bigger house which looked empty but completed in terms of construction. According to bobs, the curtains were old and the place looked kinda run down because of the paint. The pool was super clean though, no leaves or anything like that. We were super duper sus by this point because there were plenty of trees around and such, but the pool was so clean. Someone decided to yell out that someone may actually live here, so we scurried down the stairs and hopped over the wall, back out onto the street.

It was the sickest adrenaline rush and I'm kind of getting the hebe jeebees thinking about it, lol. Wish we had remained cool and explored a bit more, but we got some cool pics and a nice little kick out of it. Definitely made the day, haha.

 Sah wind
 Bridge lyf

 Mistaken Identity

 Jack's Mannequin

 There's an energy when you hold me, when you touch me, it's so powerful

 Went to Little Bay and La Perouse to catch the sunset

holding on
Saturday, July 4, 2015 // 12:43 AM

I got Netflix...


I really wanted to just fuck everything up this holiday and bask in the freedom that was kept from me for the last 2 odd months, but I realised that I have big plans for the future and I need to save my monies :( so staying in and marathoning Weeds isn't too bad a trade. I know now, never to get into the drug business (not that I had any plans to prior ....)

Anyway, I still want to go outdoors cos we all know how crazy I get when I feel like I'm trapped inside lol, so tomorrow, Cynthia and I are gonna go for a walk in the bush, and maybe next week Collin and I will explore some things and the girls and I will get a massage. Who knows.

So this is basically what's happened in between my being locked up in Wallace Wurth to cram for exams and finalise assignments

 Eeh had a birthday. A 21st birthday actually! Happy birthday Eeh :) The only thing he asked us to do was "wear something black" and we came dressed exactly the same lol
 Appaz it's my year :)
 Oh this was Vivid btw LOL

 Love birds

 Post Econ1101 exam LOL trying to study for our "real subjects"
 Mad suicide roll bb
 Bought a new beanie
 Sick of Neuro

 Whole bunch of shit happened here ... photos will be found soon LOL

 My fave photo of my two fave boys :) (L) sucks how I can't do this <3 a="" ending="" it="" with="" without=""> :(

 Made this with my tutor kid, he thought it was sick as brah
Do y'all like my updo for cruise?
 Damn she lovin' that pizza
 Love birds through the glass window
 Zoe, JL, Scotty
Back at the hotel room LOl Libs too this. She's going to Canadia soon. Bye Libs :)