Stay
Gold
Gold
stay gold forever
being here with you
we were meant to fly
Alex,
Annie,
Bobs,
Caludia,
Cathy,
Cynthia,
Danny,
Danny,
Dono,
Emily,
Jenny,
Juliana,
Jun,
Kae,
Lyanna,
Maria,
Martin,
Nancy,
Nita,
Othilia.
you got me
ϟ June 2008
ϟ July 2008
ϟ August 2008
ϟ September 2008
ϟ October 2008
ϟ November 2008
ϟ December 2008
ϟ January 2009
ϟ February 2009
ϟ March 2009
ϟ April 2009
ϟ May 2009
ϟ June 2009
ϟ July 2009
ϟ August 2009
ϟ September 2009
ϟ October 2009
ϟ November 2009
ϟ December 2009
ϟ January 2010
ϟ February 2010
ϟ March 2010
ϟ April 2010
ϟ May 2010
ϟ June 2010
ϟ July 2010
ϟ August 2010
ϟ September 2010
ϟ October 2010
ϟ November 2010
ϟ December 2010
ϟ January 2011
ϟ February 2011
ϟ March 2011
ϟ April 2011
ϟ May 2011
ϟ June 2011
ϟ July 2011
ϟ August 2011
ϟ September 2011
ϟ October 2011
ϟ November 2011
ϟ December 2011
ϟ January 2012
ϟ February 2012
ϟ March 2012
ϟ April 2012
ϟ May 2012
ϟ June 2012
ϟ July 2012
ϟ August 2012
ϟ September 2012
ϟ October 2012
ϟ November 2012
ϟ December 2012
ϟ January 2013
ϟ February 2013
ϟ March 2013
ϟ April 2013
ϟ May 2013
ϟ June 2013
ϟ July 2013
ϟ August 2013
ϟ September 2013
ϟ October 2013
ϟ November 2013
ϟ December 2013
ϟ January 2014
ϟ February 2014
ϟ March 2014
ϟ April 2014
ϟ May 2014
ϟ June 2014
ϟ July 2014
ϟ August 2014
ϟ September 2014
ϟ October 2014
ϟ November 2014
ϟ December 2014
ϟ January 2015
ϟ February 2015
ϟ March 2015
ϟ April 2015
ϟ May 2015
ϟ June 2015
ϟ July 2015
ϟ August 2015
ϟ September 2015
ϟ October 2015
ϟ November 2015
ϟ December 2015
ϟ January 2016
ϟ February 2016
ϟ March 2016
ϟ April 2016
ϟ May 2016
ϟ June 2016
ϟ July 2016
ϟ August 2016
ϟ September 2016
ϟ October 2016
ϟ November 2016
ϟ December 2016
ϟ January 2017
ϟ February 2017
ϟ March 2017
ϟ May 2017
ϟ June 2017
ϟ July 2017
ϟ August 2017
ϟ September 2017
ϟ October 2017
ϟ November 2017
ϟ December 2017
ϟ January 2018
ϟ February 2018
ϟ March 2018
ϟ May 2018
ϟ December 2019
ϟ July 2008
ϟ August 2008
ϟ September 2008
ϟ October 2008
ϟ November 2008
ϟ December 2008
ϟ January 2009
ϟ February 2009
ϟ March 2009
ϟ April 2009
ϟ May 2009
ϟ June 2009
ϟ July 2009
ϟ August 2009
ϟ September 2009
ϟ October 2009
ϟ November 2009
ϟ December 2009
ϟ January 2010
ϟ February 2010
ϟ March 2010
ϟ April 2010
ϟ May 2010
ϟ June 2010
ϟ July 2010
ϟ August 2010
ϟ September 2010
ϟ October 2010
ϟ November 2010
ϟ December 2010
ϟ January 2011
ϟ February 2011
ϟ March 2011
ϟ April 2011
ϟ May 2011
ϟ June 2011
ϟ July 2011
ϟ August 2011
ϟ September 2011
ϟ October 2011
ϟ November 2011
ϟ December 2011
ϟ January 2012
ϟ February 2012
ϟ March 2012
ϟ April 2012
ϟ May 2012
ϟ June 2012
ϟ July 2012
ϟ August 2012
ϟ September 2012
ϟ October 2012
ϟ November 2012
ϟ December 2012
ϟ January 2013
ϟ February 2013
ϟ March 2013
ϟ April 2013
ϟ May 2013
ϟ June 2013
ϟ July 2013
ϟ August 2013
ϟ September 2013
ϟ October 2013
ϟ November 2013
ϟ December 2013
ϟ January 2014
ϟ February 2014
ϟ March 2014
ϟ April 2014
ϟ May 2014
ϟ June 2014
ϟ July 2014
ϟ August 2014
ϟ September 2014
ϟ October 2014
ϟ November 2014
ϟ December 2014
ϟ January 2015
ϟ February 2015
ϟ March 2015
ϟ April 2015
ϟ May 2015
ϟ June 2015
ϟ July 2015
ϟ August 2015
ϟ September 2015
ϟ October 2015
ϟ November 2015
ϟ December 2015
ϟ January 2016
ϟ February 2016
ϟ March 2016
ϟ April 2016
ϟ May 2016
ϟ June 2016
ϟ July 2016
ϟ August 2016
ϟ September 2016
ϟ October 2016
ϟ November 2016
ϟ December 2016
ϟ January 2017
ϟ February 2017
ϟ March 2017
ϟ May 2017
ϟ June 2017
ϟ July 2017
ϟ August 2017
ϟ September 2017
ϟ October 2017
ϟ November 2017
ϟ December 2017
ϟ January 2018
ϟ February 2018
ϟ March 2018
ϟ May 2018
ϟ December 2019
and i got you
this layout was hand coded by twelfthnight
( else )
with inspiration from Gold Forever by The Wanted.
Gold from colourlovers
Cross out
Friday, February 21, 2014 // 3:42 PM
Terrigal, an overview
Wednesday, February 19, 2014 // 6:10 PM
Here's to Em
Cons:
Falling asleep on the second night
The way the owner spoke to me the morning we got there
Everyones dragged down mood because of what he said
Bobby not sharing the blanket (wasn't every night dw ;)
Beer Garden being closed when we got there
Being ceebs to go out LOL
Pros:
Being ceebs to go out LOL staying in and partying was so much better
Kites
Beach errday
Avoca beach, diving
Diving into the waves @ Terrigal
Staying up to watch the sunrise
Too many tequila shots in too little time
Feeding dem birds
Cooking and eating together
Beer pong with a bottle cap
Michael Ma: "Guys... What level am I on?" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Chinese whispers
Osly has 3 nipples and 1 nigh
Pussy pussy pussy marijuana
Star gazing
Finding that possum :)
Slow jam playlist - ty Collin + Maria
Hellen's book
:)
Basically the beach tho. LOL
Cons:
Falling asleep on the second night
The way the owner spoke to me the morning we got there
Everyones dragged down mood because of what he said
Bobby not sharing the blanket (wasn't every night dw ;)
Beer Garden being closed when we got there
Being ceebs to go out LOL
Pros:
Being ceebs to go out LOL staying in and partying was so much better
Kites
Beach errday
Avoca beach, diving
Diving into the waves @ Terrigal
Staying up to watch the sunrise
Too many tequila shots in too little time
Feeding dem birds
Cooking and eating together
Beer pong with a bottle cap
Michael Ma: "Guys... What level am I on?" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Chinese whispers
Osly has 3 nipples and 1 nigh
Pussy pussy pussy marijuana
Star gazing
Finding that possum :)
Slow jam playlist - ty Collin + Maria
Hellen's book
:)
Basically the beach tho. LOL
I'm latching onto you (Terrigal)
// 3:30 AM
This time last year
Monday, February 17, 2014 // 6:50 PM
Em made us all write a post about our futures. What we envisioned, whether we'd make our dreams come true and how it'd all happen.
So a year has passed and I guess I've got an update.
2013 was the most eventful year of my life.
I started uni and it was everything I'd thought it be. There was lots to do and see and although I promised myself that I'd attend every lecture, that soon failed after the first week LOL Skipping lectures became a habit for me, but I got to hang with a lot of cool people during the breaks. I didn't study as hard as I'd anticipated and I guess I let myself down. I still managed what I aimed for but there's just this thing inside me which was let down cos I didn't give everything.
I learnt to drive and wreaked havoc on the roads LOL. KIK and various others accompanied me on many adventures. I got to explore Sydney and greater NSW with the people I love and it was great. I guess it's good to know your area. Now I've got a bunch of places to show all my relos and friends when they come and visit from overseas.
When we began our first real medicine oriented course in semester two, I was over the moon. It was so cool to be doing something like that. Every lecture was good and every prac class was even better. Through the long hours it really did solidify in me, my desire to pursue medicine. It was so frustrating and tedious but ultimately worthwhile.
I didn't really date anyone, but I guess I did learn more about myself and what I want and like. I had much help LOL (like in HIMYM, I bring much gold ahahahahaha)
I was a cocky little fucker and I didn't study at all for the UMAT. I was so upset with my score cos it was no where near what I achieved the year previous. Despite that, I guess the many experiences I've been through changed something in me because it allowed me to meet the cutoff in every section. I got an interview at the University of Newcastle.
The day of my interview, Hellen, Bobby and I woke up at 5 am and began our long trek to Newcastle. It was raining and I was a bit apprehensive about the whole thing. But when we were seated and orientated with everyone, things became so much simpler. I found two girls who are actually doing med sci and new south with me, Clara and Thuy. We talked for the entire afternoon about our lives, how we felt about the interview and how we all hoped we wouldn't see each other in med sci the following year LOL
Hellen and Bobs picked me up from the uni and we had a celebratory lunch. They bought me a congratulatory cupcake and wrote their goodbyes on a small card. I choked up when I found out how much they believed in me. We brought home our massive milkshakes and I said goodbye and thank you to them both. It was at the intersection of Railway and Bartley, about to turn onto my street, marveling at how well my interview went. Three cars ahead of me turned and I was in a daze so I thought, hey it's safe to go. But as I pulled my steering wheel I saw a light blue camry heading a little too fast in my direction. Everything happened so fast it didn't occur to me to speed up before my rear was hit and I ricocheted and hit two other cars waiting at the intersection. I felt a throbbing in my knee and left side and as I looked up, all I could hear was a screaming vietnamese woman and another yelling at me to move my car. I drove it, metal scrapping against the wheel and all to the closest place I felt it safe to stop. I walked back to the scene. All the contents of my trunk strewn over the street amongst broken glass from the other car. The vietnamese woman storming up towards me, inaudible yelling. I yelled, it was my fault. I take the blame, it was my fault. She was shocked, almost certain I'd yell back, but caught off guard by my honesty she continued to yell. It's all she could do. A man, calm and friendly asked if I was hurt, told me to trade car details. My phone had run out of batteries so I borrowed his wifes phone to call my dad. He came and helped me sort things out. He didn't believe it was my fault, considering the giant dent in the side of my car, but I was day dreaming. I was careless. I walked home. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to feel. I called Collin and Andrew cos I knew I couldn't go to Stereosonic the following day. I was traumatized and so afraid. I tried so hard not to break down in front of them. My sister came home and said something. I can't remember what it was. I cried myself to sleep.
Collin convinced me to go the following day. I was ready to drink and dance it all away, but every so often I would hear the bending metal, the shattering glass and my side would throb. It'd come quicker, the sounds. It'd repeat itself over and over until it became just a blur of distorted noise, blending in with the heavy bass, distorted. The second day it happened again. The noises came back and everything was blurry. I could see flashes of the park in my head. I kept my eyes closed. It's all I could see until Chad and Tim and Kevin were there to distract me.
I bought a new car
I forgot about all of that until today.
I went back to work at Dymocks. Promised all my kids I'd be back to tutor them next year because I thought rationally about my chances of getting into medical school and despite my endless desire, I knew I wasn't deserving. I told them I'd be back and later that day I was told that I no longer had a job there.
I was take aback. It didn't occur to me that I was fired until Tracey and I got to the party. I had many cigarettes with Eeh. He listened and stayed. I was devastated the entire night. Everyone thought that I was just tired and drunk, as I usually am. I was so... I just didn't know. I took off my clothes and jumped into the pool and as corny as it sounds, I felt everything wash away. I enjoyed the night. Smoking more than I should have and I headed home.
I had the best time over Christmas at Dymocks. One of my students, Michelle, visited me. She told me she was staying because a class mate, Sunita, convinced her to stay because I'd told them I'd see them next year. I didn't know how to tell her. I couldn't tell her. So I said, maybe. I might be moving. And then I spent the rest of the holiday hoping and praying and wishing with all that I had that I would move. Just so it wasn't all for nothing. I ran into Sunita last week at a cafe. She told me that I dogged them and she missed me. I was so disappointed with myself. I apologised, didn't know what else to say.
I was at B2 the night I was supposed to go back to work, had I still worked there. I almost cried. Jake came and saw that I wasn't right. He cheered me up. Great guy. Same thing happened the following Thursday. I was so lonely. I missed my kids. I told myself that I wouldn't get attached but I did. I couldn't shake this feeling until began talking to Joey again. He reminds me of Kevin the way we keep joking around. It's nice.
He came to B1 and had lunch with me. He stuck around long enough for us to have dinner. He walked me home. We hung out with his mates. He walked me home. He told me he'd go to the beach with me, crazy as it was, it was raining. It was nice. He began singing to me. It awakened something inside. He kept singing and I stopped the car. He has really soft skin and I like it when he just lays on top of me. Things are so easy
He's not like anyone else
He's not a conquest
Nor is he just a number
I'm going to flip out later.
Life is great
Despite everything, I wouldn't have it any other way.
So a year has passed and I guess I've got an update.
2013 was the most eventful year of my life.
I started uni and it was everything I'd thought it be. There was lots to do and see and although I promised myself that I'd attend every lecture, that soon failed after the first week LOL Skipping lectures became a habit for me, but I got to hang with a lot of cool people during the breaks. I didn't study as hard as I'd anticipated and I guess I let myself down. I still managed what I aimed for but there's just this thing inside me which was let down cos I didn't give everything.
I learnt to drive and wreaked havoc on the roads LOL. KIK and various others accompanied me on many adventures. I got to explore Sydney and greater NSW with the people I love and it was great. I guess it's good to know your area. Now I've got a bunch of places to show all my relos and friends when they come and visit from overseas.
When we began our first real medicine oriented course in semester two, I was over the moon. It was so cool to be doing something like that. Every lecture was good and every prac class was even better. Through the long hours it really did solidify in me, my desire to pursue medicine. It was so frustrating and tedious but ultimately worthwhile.
I didn't really date anyone, but I guess I did learn more about myself and what I want and like. I had much help LOL (like in HIMYM, I bring much gold ahahahahaha)
I was a cocky little fucker and I didn't study at all for the UMAT. I was so upset with my score cos it was no where near what I achieved the year previous. Despite that, I guess the many experiences I've been through changed something in me because it allowed me to meet the cutoff in every section. I got an interview at the University of Newcastle.
The day of my interview, Hellen, Bobby and I woke up at 5 am and began our long trek to Newcastle. It was raining and I was a bit apprehensive about the whole thing. But when we were seated and orientated with everyone, things became so much simpler. I found two girls who are actually doing med sci and new south with me, Clara and Thuy. We talked for the entire afternoon about our lives, how we felt about the interview and how we all hoped we wouldn't see each other in med sci the following year LOL
Hellen and Bobs picked me up from the uni and we had a celebratory lunch. They bought me a congratulatory cupcake and wrote their goodbyes on a small card. I choked up when I found out how much they believed in me. We brought home our massive milkshakes and I said goodbye and thank you to them both. It was at the intersection of Railway and Bartley, about to turn onto my street, marveling at how well my interview went. Three cars ahead of me turned and I was in a daze so I thought, hey it's safe to go. But as I pulled my steering wheel I saw a light blue camry heading a little too fast in my direction. Everything happened so fast it didn't occur to me to speed up before my rear was hit and I ricocheted and hit two other cars waiting at the intersection. I felt a throbbing in my knee and left side and as I looked up, all I could hear was a screaming vietnamese woman and another yelling at me to move my car. I drove it, metal scrapping against the wheel and all to the closest place I felt it safe to stop. I walked back to the scene. All the contents of my trunk strewn over the street amongst broken glass from the other car. The vietnamese woman storming up towards me, inaudible yelling. I yelled, it was my fault. I take the blame, it was my fault. She was shocked, almost certain I'd yell back, but caught off guard by my honesty she continued to yell. It's all she could do. A man, calm and friendly asked if I was hurt, told me to trade car details. My phone had run out of batteries so I borrowed his wifes phone to call my dad. He came and helped me sort things out. He didn't believe it was my fault, considering the giant dent in the side of my car, but I was day dreaming. I was careless. I walked home. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to feel. I called Collin and Andrew cos I knew I couldn't go to Stereosonic the following day. I was traumatized and so afraid. I tried so hard not to break down in front of them. My sister came home and said something. I can't remember what it was. I cried myself to sleep.
Collin convinced me to go the following day. I was ready to drink and dance it all away, but every so often I would hear the bending metal, the shattering glass and my side would throb. It'd come quicker, the sounds. It'd repeat itself over and over until it became just a blur of distorted noise, blending in with the heavy bass, distorted. The second day it happened again. The noises came back and everything was blurry. I could see flashes of the park in my head. I kept my eyes closed. It's all I could see until Chad and Tim and Kevin were there to distract me.
I bought a new car
I forgot about all of that until today.
I went back to work at Dymocks. Promised all my kids I'd be back to tutor them next year because I thought rationally about my chances of getting into medical school and despite my endless desire, I knew I wasn't deserving. I told them I'd be back and later that day I was told that I no longer had a job there.
I was take aback. It didn't occur to me that I was fired until Tracey and I got to the party. I had many cigarettes with Eeh. He listened and stayed. I was devastated the entire night. Everyone thought that I was just tired and drunk, as I usually am. I was so... I just didn't know. I took off my clothes and jumped into the pool and as corny as it sounds, I felt everything wash away. I enjoyed the night. Smoking more than I should have and I headed home.
I had the best time over Christmas at Dymocks. One of my students, Michelle, visited me. She told me she was staying because a class mate, Sunita, convinced her to stay because I'd told them I'd see them next year. I didn't know how to tell her. I couldn't tell her. So I said, maybe. I might be moving. And then I spent the rest of the holiday hoping and praying and wishing with all that I had that I would move. Just so it wasn't all for nothing. I ran into Sunita last week at a cafe. She told me that I dogged them and she missed me. I was so disappointed with myself. I apologised, didn't know what else to say.
I was at B2 the night I was supposed to go back to work, had I still worked there. I almost cried. Jake came and saw that I wasn't right. He cheered me up. Great guy. Same thing happened the following Thursday. I was so lonely. I missed my kids. I told myself that I wouldn't get attached but I did. I couldn't shake this feeling until began talking to Joey again. He reminds me of Kevin the way we keep joking around. It's nice.
He came to B1 and had lunch with me. He stuck around long enough for us to have dinner. He walked me home. We hung out with his mates. He walked me home. He told me he'd go to the beach with me, crazy as it was, it was raining. It was nice. He began singing to me. It awakened something inside. He kept singing and I stopped the car. He has really soft skin and I like it when he just lays on top of me. Things are so easy
He's not like anyone else
He's not a conquest
Nor is he just a number
I'm going to flip out later.
Life is great
Despite everything, I wouldn't have it any other way.
got you shackled in my embrace
// 2:15 AM
