So I came across this feature article
a while ago. I skimmed through the entire thing, but at the time, I was just interested in point #4 because my friends and I were having a heated argument about the "friendzone" and nice guys etc.
But I re-read it this morning and idk what changed, but every point seemed relateable or understandable and as insignificant/long winded as most of the explanations were, I feel like it actually has the potential to help.
I used to DO so much more. My days used to pass with something that I could always look forward to accomplishing or practising or you know ... just doing... LOL
I've fallen into a rut this year and I stopped doing things for myself and for other people, but I took up learning. Let me explain, lol. I feel like everything I did up until 17 shaped me into a good person. I had a lot of skills and I was able to do things for others while also benefiting myself and it was great. I lived out 17 and most of 18 in pure bliss. I barely had a sad day or periods where I'd question my self worth and all that. But as I was nearing the end of 18, I started to realise that all the things I could do for others that made me happy or satisfied, well they all had other people who could do the same for them. The set of skills I'd acquired over my life was no longer... special? exceptional? idk. The right word doesn't matter here. But that's when I noticed a decline - not entirely because I lost the ability to make people happy. That's only a small part of it.
When I was hired for both Dymocks and Focus, I personally think I had a slight upper hand than most (past experience, good grades, free time, what have you) and that's why I was chosen. I had skills that most other candidates didn't. The work places needed me as much as I wanted to work there. But with the progression of time, I never put in the effort to exceed my own abilities and continue becoming an asset to them. I was the same person they hired a year ago with the same set of skills and no real change. That's when I became replaceable.
And I guess my lack of development didn't phase Dymocks too much because they like holding onto their workers, but when it came to an intellectual job like tutoring, my lack of skills was seen as a setback. And I don't blame them (my lack of skills is probably not even the reason I lost my job there but as I am trying to make a point, lets assume it contributed) I didn't go out of my way to figure out new techniques to teach new kids concepts that the old students definitely found confusing. I tried and tested a method and it didn't work. And instead of thinking of new methods, I'd just push the old one ... hoping that there would be one kid who would understand and use that as a justification for my method - it's not the way I teach, it's the stupidity of the students.
Like no, staph it Jess. I'm usually the ones ranting to my friends about how annoyed I get when some people aren't actually doing anything to benefit themselves, but I was just as guilty as those I've condemned (lol) and it didn't actually occur to me that I was the biggest hypocrite until today.
But that's changed (for the most part) ... (I hope)
I turned 19 and tried to give my self a tune up. I stopped doing the things I used to do (ones that would just let me barely scrape by) and tried learning new methods. I tried adopting a new mind set and began practising new skills. I'm still a work in progress, but I'm glad I have a little more direction now.
I guess what I'm trying to do is stop being just any other person who tries to fit into certain descriptions for others... like molding myself to be able to work a job or get along with another person... but, (I really didn't want to use this word but for lack of a better one) "reinvent" myself by accepting who I really am and accumulating the right abilities and skills so that I can become THE person employers and other people want (and need, obv ;) LOL
I hope this makes sense. I do recommend everyone read the article, cos it's actually quite enlightening. You can skip all the faux-retaliations and just read the title of each point and his explanation (should be just under it) if you're tight on time/bothered-ness LOL
Definitely an eye opener
Happy spring, deers!